btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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