her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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