so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
