the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
