do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
