I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
