the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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