So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
