We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
