Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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