im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
