hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
