Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize