i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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