Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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