if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
