i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
