I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
