A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I would fuck him just for his dog
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
