found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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