I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
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she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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