i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
