The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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