I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
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the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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