It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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