So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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