I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
