Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
