Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize