i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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