Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
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I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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