Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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