im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize