How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
