You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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