GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
