i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
