I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
