I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
