Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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