Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
did you just send me my own nude
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
