Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize