he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
