take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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