I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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