never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
