Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
