I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
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only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.