i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.