so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
someone get that fucking seahorse.
seriously i just wanna be friends
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.