Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
