i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
