make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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