I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why do cheetos always look like penises
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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