i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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