Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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