There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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