i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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