This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
