I want to stick my p in your. b.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Pants are for mortals
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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