took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
