Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
