was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
