we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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