We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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