Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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